Tweeting Clueless: 26 Things Twitter is NOT

twitter 101 training We have all seen them.  The twitter clueless. The tweeps who refuse to accept Twitter or social media for what it is and what it is not. I am not talking about the newbies who are still learning. I am referencing the folks who have been to the classes, read the blogs yet still refuse to accept Twitter is not a copycat of their hard copy corporate brochure from 1987 broke into fifty 140 character segments.

If you work with B2B clients in any area of marketing, strategy, brand, or social media you have probably had similar discussions to what I am about to share in this post.

I am not trying to beat a broken record. In all reality I like writing blog posts to not only share with my beloved and awesome regular readers like you, but also to have as a reference to send clients, partners and of course the guy at the meat counter at Publix Grocery Store.

I have written many posts on what TO DO on Twitter such as “21 Tips to Get Your Tweet on,”   “CEO's Repeat After Me, We are Not Afraid to Tweet,” and “10 Tips to Get the Twitter Conversation Started.

If you are wondering what Twitter is and is not, here are the top 26 things that Twitter is not.


26 Things Twitter is Not

1. Twitter is not a medium to share the website content you wrote for your flash based website that matched your printed collateral for the annual shareholder meeting back in 1992.

2. Twitter is not a medium for you to hire a transcriptionist to break your content from 1987 down into 140 character segments for tweeting over the next five years.

3. Twitter is not the best medium to vent about your boyfriend, mom or terrible boss. If you feel the need to vent, head straight to the water cooler and do NOT take your smartphone loaded with TweetDeck or Hootsuite!

4. Twitter does not give you eyes in the top of your forehead when you are driving. Put down the phone and keep your dang eyes on the road. I am sickened by the people I see texting, tweeting while driving in rush hour traffic.

5. Twitter is not what you should be doing at a red light while in your car.  I am proof of this as I was recently rear ended by a woman who was texting and driving. Yes, I was sitting at a red light minding my own business. Luckily since I saw her coming I was able to drive forward a little bit to avoid a worse crash. Note, both of our cars were still totaled!

6. Twitter is not a replacement for family engagement time. Put down the phones and talk to one another, even if the other person is in the other room!

7. Twitter is not a self promotion tool. Spend more time giving the social love and helping others than you do bragging about yourself.

8. Twitter is not a piece of collateral. No, your tweet timeline does not need to look neat and perfect. It's a conversation and should look as such.

9. Twitter is not designed in a way that those new to it “get it” and can easily understand why the tweet timeline shouldn't look like a perfectly laced table at Grandma's house.

10.  Twitter is not the best tool to yell at someone.

11. Twitter is not private, not even in a TweetChat.  Even though you may be filtering your tweets using a tool such as TweetChat, the tweets are still public. What happens on Twitter goes public forever.

12. Twitter is not to be used as a conversation agent if you are a compulsive liar. Don't blame it on the tool, go see a doctor. Your multiple lives are eventually going to catch up with you, sorry.

13. Twitter is not the right medium to decide you want to “be real” at 2 am while at the bar on Saturday night. If you are using Twitter for business remember there are probably current clients, propsective clients and partners who may read your tweets the next morning. I have had numerous leads come to us due to the unethical way several local Twitter peeps behave. They said they watched tweet streams for weeks before making a decision.

14. Twitter is not the right medium to go silent if you are afraid of #13.  Going silent after being loud for a period of time can also be a problem. You need to find a balance.

15. Twitter is not the place to hang out if you are scared to death of sharing information.

16. Twitter is not the place to hang out if you don't like people.

17. Twitter is not a medium where being on the sidelines will benefit you. Get in the game. Join the conversation or don't bother.

18. Twitter is not a medium designed to spend all all day asking for people to “like” you on Facebook or get linked with you on LinkedIn.  If people “like” you they will click like, don't worry.

19.  Twitter is not the medium to post the same boring quotes, blog posts and tips every day. At least come up with something new and relevant.

justin bieber in Ulta20.  Twitter is not the medium to grab the attention to arrange the marriage of Justin Bieber and your daughter. Sorry, chances of you getting a high return on your tweets are not high. You're better off going to Ulta like I did and simply taking a photo of Justin next to his new perfume and fooling your kids into thinking you really saw Justin (like I did!) 🙂

21. Twitter is not the medium to beg for non-profit donations. Instead engage with real people who have a genuine interest in your cause. If they want to donate, they will.

22. Twitter is not the medium to post all your dirty secrets all day and night about where you live, what you're wearing, what time you're leaving, who you're leaving with, who is with you, how drunk you got and when you got home and then complaining that you have a stalker.

23. Twitter is not a safe place where you can say and do anything you want with no fear of anyone using the information in a negative way. Yes there are creepers and competitors who will watch you, listen to you and steal your good ideas. Get use to it. Facebook, LinkedIn and every other platform is the same way.

24. Twitter is not the same as Google+.  I am yet to figure out how to have a real 1:1 conversation on Google+ without having to post a post copying only the single person I want to talk with. Then to see the response or the person to see my post they either have to visit my profile wall or happen to see the notification in their gmail inbox that is now already cluttered with the other Google+ notifications and spam from peeps who now have your email.

25. Twitter is not the best medium to get out of doing the dishes, doing the laundry, mowing the lawn or feeding the kids. Eventually everyone needs to eat, the kitchen needs cleaned and the clothes get stinky.

26.  Twitter is not an excuse to miss work, ditch school or lay in bed all day with your iPhone.  Even if your eyes are blood shot, your head hurts and your fingers are numb get out of bed and get a life!

Your Turn

What are some of the funniest things you have seen people do or not do on Twitter? What Twitter truths can you add to this list?




About the Author:

CEO / Founder Marketing Nutz, full service social media, digital marketing, experiential brand, conversion optimization agency. Ranked by Forbes as Top 10 Social Media Women and 10 Social Media Power Influencer. Keynote speaker, author, strategist, consultant, coach, & trainer. Helps businesses of all sizes integrate social media into the DNA of their business, connect with target audiences to nurture authentic customer relationships. 15+ years experience working with Fortune 500, Franchised corporations with 4000+ local franchises to entrepreneurs and startups.


  1. Neetish August 3, 2011 at 9:28 am

    number 17. Being on the sideline can benefit you, if you are following the right people , no harm in using twitter as a source of information if you dont have much to say .

    • PamMktgNut August 3, 2011 at 8:22 pm

      Great point Neetish.  I now many people who do such. If there isn’t a need to engage then sitting on the sideline won’t hurt. I would challenge you though with what are you possibly missing out on my not engaging? You might be able to connect with someone even more or simply make a few new friends. 

      Thanks for your comment.  Would love to hear more of how you use Twitter. 

  2. [email protected] August 3, 2011 at 11:34 am

    As a Twitter Newbie I’m glad you give us a little grace for the learning curve. 😉
    The most satisfying Twitter moments for me are ironically direct conversations with real people so I agree about sharing the love! I have to say the funniest moments are when people just post quotes all day it can be soo irrelevant!

    • PamMktgNut August 3, 2011 at 8:46 pm

      Hi Alysa.  I think we are all newbies. Some days I wake up in the morning and almost feel like I am starting all over again. It’s a constant and never ending learning curve. 

      I too like the quotes and they were how I first started tweeting. I have connected with many people because of a simple quote. I think it’s because I share quotes that connect with me. They tend to help me connect with people on an emotional level. 

      I always encourage our clients and students to tweet what works for you. I will know within minutes of hopping on Twitter what kind of mood my following is in. I know if they want serious or funny. Not always but I get lucky if I can “feel” the mood. Sometimes it’s nothing more than a guess of a lucky start 😉 

      Thanks for stopping by & taking time to comment. 

  3. cara davis August 3, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    Why can’t Twitter be whatever someone wants it to be? Obviously some strategies work better than others and yield greater results. But who’s to say what it is and what it isn’t?

    • PamMktgNut August 3, 2011 at 8:20 pm

      Great point Cara and I agree with you.  Every blog post you read, article in the paper that is written with opinion should be taken with a grain of sanity. Do what’s right for your biz and your audience. There is no right way to do social media. There is only what is right for you and your objectives. 🙂

  4. Kim Randall August 3, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    First and foremost I do understand that this is an outlet for the blog owner to express their opinions and completely respect that. 
    I willingly and proudly admit that I #RedLightTweet and am local so this could very well be directed towards me and completely disagree with the statement made. I could be parked in my car in a parking lot Tweeting and get hit by a car, I could be standing in a park Tweeting and get bit by a snake, heck I could be Tweeting right now from the comfort of my own desk chair and have lightning strike my house, my chair tip, my desk break or anything. I do however agree texting while driving is unsafe and ridiculous and should not be done. But Tweeting while my car is not in motion?So I go to the bar and am there at 2am Tweeting and this is unacceptable? I am a businesswoman in the same business you are and have a business Twitter account and a personal Twitter account. I decide what’s acceptable for my stream and what’s not. There are many occasions where the people I happen to be out with are some of my best clients. I would rather have clients that understand personal from business and are not judgmental than have a client that is going to screen each Tweet I post. I am just as real Online as I am off and if I chose to “hide” things others may view as unacceptable then really I’m just fooling myself. I would rather my clients know the real me now, it’s kind of like a marriage, no? The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever, so I’ve heard.We all have our own thoughts and opinions about how Twitter should be used and my opinion is that we, as Social Media enthusiasts, should provide non judgmental help to all new Twitter users and explain what Twitter is and how to use it as in how to  reply, RT, DM, what’s a Twitter list etc… If we all followed the same “rules” I wouldnt be on Twitter because I’d be bored to death. We all have the choice to unfollow and if something is seen as offending to a person perhaps thats what they should do. Just my two cents.

    • PamMktgNut August 3, 2011 at 8:30 pm

      Hi Kim. Wow, good to see ya’ around these parts. Don’t think you have ever commented on my blog before. 

      Although it seems my post struck a nerve with you I think we agree on more than you think.  This specific blog post was written to be humorous with a light hearted but opinionated tone. Yes, it’s my blog and it works for me. I am real and my readers know they will get real when they come to my blog. There is only one me and that me comes with an opinion. Does that mean you have to agree with me? Nope. Does it mean that what works for me works for you? Nope. Does that mean you are entitled to your opinion? Absolutely! 

      I believe in being completely real both online and offline. I am what I am on Twitter as I am on Facebook as I am in my home with jammies on. I also believe there is no cookie cutter approach for social media. What works for me won’t work for you, my neighbor or my dog’s Twitter account.  Just as we teach our clients and students any biz or personal brand should start with the people.  You know as well as I that social media is a 1:1 conversation. It is about personal relationships. You are going to build them in a different way than I do.  It doesn’t make either of our ways right or wrong.

      As far as tweeting at a red light I do have an opinion. Given the fact I was rear ended by an SUV bigger than mine travelling 45 mph that was texting I don’t have to ask to have an opinion. My car was totaled and because I was NOT texting or tweeting I saw the SUV come barging at me and was able to move ahead some to avoid a worse crash. 

      Had I been in one of our smaller cars the accident could have been worse. And even worse than that had one or both of my children been in the car it could have been deadly given the height and speed at which the car hit me. So, tweet at your red lights if you want. I won’t be and I will openly and boldly recommend for folks not to.

      As far as non-judgemental help the majority of my posts are such. I spend boat loads of time writing helpful tips, processes and deep thought posts intended to help people.My blog, content and this post was not intended to judge. It’s simply an opinion, some fun and some serious.   

      I am entitled to write an opinion as any blogger is.  I seem to recall you having some very opinionated posts telling people how to follow, unfollow, tweet and more as well. I think any blogger who is afraid to state an opinion shouldn’t be blogging. I have met some amazing people via social media that I now have deep relationships with where the conversation was sparked by a difference of opinion. We have agreed to both agree and disagree and are doing some amazing things together now.  I also believe that bloggers opinions will be more valued even if negative if it is sprinkled in with a blog filled with constructive and helpful content.

  5. Don F Perkins August 3, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    I like your tips. They made me laugh, some made me go “uh-huh” and I’ve been guilty of a few of these not-so-savvy Twitter turpitudes myself. cara davis has a point also – I suppose what you do on Twitter depends on what your goal is.

    No matter what, wouldn’t we all do well to consider our audience and tweet courteously and interestingly; Imagine if we were sitting at a table together sharing our thoughts. Would we say the things we tweet?

    • PamMktgNut August 3, 2011 at 8:41 pm

      Don you hit the nail on the head! Yes, we all have different goals. I think it’s what folks forget about social media. It’s about the people. Anything involving people can not have a recipe or cookbook to tell us exactly what to do. I tend to like to challenge people to think.  It’s funny as this post seems to have ruffled some “twitter feathers” on some. I figured it would at minimum start a dialogue with folks who may not usually have a conversation and yes, it’s done exactly that.  

      I can see a good cartoon or infographic on your analogy of the table family tweeting session. 

      Thanks for stopping by. Appreciate your comment and thoughts! 🙂 

  6. Sharon Marie Katz August 4, 2011 at 4:36 pm


    I’m relatively new to Twitter and threw up an, “Amen, HALLELUJAH!” after reading your blog post.

    But it took me about 6 months to decide to get up and running on Twitter and then listening to what @Pistachio had to say on a panel one morning to get me into the mix. Maybe the delay can be attributed to the fact that most of what I was seeing about Twitter in the news was what celebrities were tweeting about unfortunate events and it just seemed frivolous. NOW, I see value.

    A few days after getting my personal account up and running–and responding to a riddle about how to catch a squirrel 🙂 — I set up our first business account. Shortly thereafter, I set up a second, nichier business account. I think I take an approach similar to Neetish’s and do a lot more listening and reading than I do posting. With the business accounts I do a lot of retweeting. I try to keep the content in line with the audience I’d like to develop there. I have more fun on my personal account, keeping in mind that it’s all public. I’m more open about actively engaging there and have opted for a more gentle slope on the business accounts since I’m not just representing myself.

    And, like Neetish, I’ve actually learned some things. I’ve found that, with the business accounts, it’s a quick way to get news from a bunch of (respected and reliable) sources.

    Moreover, I’ve found @[email protected]:disqus amMktgNut to be a good resource. But maybe we just think along the same lines. . .

    Thank you!!!

  7. Mike Saffran August 6, 2011 at 9:02 pm

    Twitter is not the place to drop “F-bombs” or share news about stubbed toes.


  8. Lyndon Williams August 7, 2011 at 12:27 pm


  9. […] RSS feed, and have been reading everything she has posted since. So when she posted a blog called Tweeting Clueless: 26 Things Twitter is NOT, I just couldn’t leave a comment… I needed to write my own blog post on the […]

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  11. Siobhan Hebda August 11, 2011 at 9:45 am

    This is a great blog post! It’s always nice to have a comedic break from the many run-of-the-mill blog posting that repeat the same information over and over. Humor is a fabulous way to engage readers and stand out from the crowd. 

    The tip I agree most with is number 4! Put the phone down when you’re driving, Ma Bell. I was actually rear-ended just yesterday by a woman who was checking her FB account while driving. Thankfully no one was injured, but there are too many similar accidents that don’t have such happy endings. 

  12. […] “Tweeting Clueless: 26 Things Twitter is NOT” by Pam Moore (@PamMktgNut) […]

  13. NPL Director August 12, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    @Neetish : I have agree with you, I use Twitter largely to follow what people are saying about the city and to follow groups that represent a demographic that the library has trouble reaching.  Eavesdropping on their conversations is enlightening and hopefully will help us shape our services and marketing.

  14. NPL Director August 12, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    @Neetish : I have agree with you, I use Twitter largely to follow what people are saying about the city and to follow groups that represent a demographic that the library has trouble reaching.  Eavesdropping on their conversations is enlightening and hopefully will help us shape our services and marketing.

  15. […] 26 Things Twitter is NOT for the Tweeting Clueless | The Marketing Nut (tags: twitter teaching tips) Category: Delicious […]

  16. […] Shared 26 Things Twitter is NOT for the Tweeting Clueless | The Marketing Nut. […]

  17. Anonymous August 18, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    This is awesome. Thanks so much. I’m a relative twitter newbie and guilty of a few (but not as much as I thought) twitter don’ts. Your writing is engaging, conversational & quite genuine. As a teacher, often I feel like a drone and kinda felt that way on twitter. Still learning and finding my groove. But it’s nice to know what drew me is what twitter is about: engaging people in public, making connections, learning and sharing.

  18. Anonymous August 18, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    This is awesome. Thanks so much. I’m a relative twitter newbie and guilty of a few (but not as much as I thought) twitter don’ts. Your writing is engaging, conversational & quite genuine. As a teacher, often I feel like a drone and kinda felt that way on twitter. Still learning and finding my groove. But it’s nice to know what drew me is what twitter is about: engaging people in public, making connections, learning and sharing.

  19. Josh Moore September 11, 2011 at 2:19 am

    Aint that the truth! Great post.

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