58 Things Social Media Newbies Say & Maybe You Said too!?

social media newbieThere comes a time in life when you must acknowledge social media, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn are all here to stay. Yes, the social network platforms may change. Facebook will eventually become the Myspace of yesterday. However, one thing is certain, social media, mobile phones, iPad evolution and technology in general is not going away.

At one point in time we all still are, were or will be newbies at something. It's funny to think back to the first day you tweeted or joined Facebook. I joined Facebook in 2006 when I worked at Sun Microsystems. We were required to get on Facebook in support of  an internal big marketing conference. I remember thinking how awkward it was to be so transaparent and have everyone from family, friends, neighbors, girlfriends, past boyfriends, teachers, boss and hubby all in one place! Yowza!

My how things have changed. Now we share our life, our ups and downs in 140 characters on Twitter, in pictures on Pinterest, on blog posts like this and of course on Facebook.

Learning all the bits, bytes, lingo and lango is not always easy. The best thing to do is ask the questions you have, answer the ones you know and have fun. Yes, we do social media for business. However, once in awhile ya' have to laugh a little or even a lot.

Below are some quotes I have heard many newbies say including some folks close to me in life and business.  I hope you can have some fun with this and add your own. We're working on a video to incorporate some of them with a couple clients. If your suggestion makes it in the video, we'll give you credit for it in the video and accompanied description!

Note: By no means is this post meant to make fun of social newbies. We love newbies around these parts. We were all a newbie at some point and will be a newbie tomorrow when the next new shiny bright object launches!

58 Things Social Newbies Say & Maybe You Said Too!?  

1. None of my customers are on social, seriously.

2. I don't have time. I’m too busy selling. I attend networking groups 3 mornings and 5 nights of the week.

3. Facebook is only for kids.

4. I have a Facebook page but nobody talks to me. My customers are all introverts.

5. I can't do social. No way.  I like my double personality lifestyle.

6. Twitter… That sounds like the perfect platform to tweet coupon codes!

7. Twitter is for dumb birds who can’t talk in more than 140 character bytes.

8. LinkedIn is for the jobless and bored.

9. Shut up! My website is savvy! We just added a twitter button.

10. What do you mean listen on social? Where is the sound button?

11. Hashtag, hash brown same thing right? I'll take the hash brown, thank you.

12. I tweeted!!

13. No way, no sirreee! I am not tweeting what I had for lunch!

14. What do you mean tweet you later?? I'll call you at 4:00 pm et. Want me to setup a conference line?

15. Did I just tweet?

16. Dude, you can't say that on twitter!

17. Ahhhh my mom doesn't even know what twitter is. Yes!

18. Is it a tweet or a twit?

19. What is the difference between a tweet, twit, retweet and reheat?

20. Seriously, just call me. I don’t have a smart phone like you.

21. Oooh. He is giving me a hand massage. I got tweeter fingers after sending all those tweets today.

22. Said after first retweet:  “Stop, collaborate and listen I'm the tweeter who's got their attention!”

23. DM me baby. Hey, that sounds cool, doesn’t it?

24. Why do you I look so tired? It’s that darn Twitter bird keeping me up every night.

25. I got a retweet! Woot!

26. That twitter bird is crazy!

27. Me addicted to twitter? Never!!

28. Twitter is for people who don't have a life.

29. How am I suppose to say anything in this tiny little box and only 140 characters?

30. Said while looking at timeline: “Look! All these people sent me tweets!”

31. I tweeted again!

32. What's my password?

33. I think I'll go back to Facebook

34. What if my competitors see what we say?

35. Did he really just tweet that?

36. Woah! I just found out my best customer is on Twitter. Who woulda thunk?

37. Cool, I'll just send all my tweets to Facebook & Facebook posts to tweets and will be all set!

38. How do I get one of those cool influence scores?

39. How do I get that verified badge? I'm a pretty popular guy. I'm gonna need one!

40. What's wrong with that lil egg as my profile picture? It's cute!

41. I need to use my real face? Why would I do that? Then I can't stalk anyone.

42. Facebook, nobody is on Facebook anymore.

43. Google+? That’s where I go to search for stuff on the internet, right?

44. Be careful out there on that internet. I heard there are ripoff scammers.

45. Video? Why would anyone want to watch a video when we have phone & in person.

46. Blogging? That would mean I have to engage and listen!

47. Let my sales reps on social? Are you kidding?

48. My sales reps don't have time for social. They are busy cold calling and door to door knocking.

49. We can't let people comment on our blog. What if someone says something bad?

50. Email? Why would I want to integrate email into a social media campaign?

51. Call to action? Why would I call someone to take action? What action?

52. We are on social. We have a Twitter and Facebook account. Haven't logged on in a few months but we are definitely a social company!

53. Community manager? What is that? Don't need one of those as nobody talks to us.

54. What do you mean by social listening? Nobody says anything on our Facebook page so nothing to listen to!

55. Yes! I got followers! Social media success!!

56. I got 25 Facebook likes. We are rockin!

57. I seriously think Facebook might save our business this year!

58. Will you plllleeeaaase retweet this?


About the Author:

CEO / Founder Marketing Nutz, full service social media, digital marketing, experiential brand, conversion optimization agency. Ranked by Forbes as Top 10 Social Media Women and 10 Social Media Power Influencer. Keynote speaker, author, strategist, consultant, coach, & trainer. Helps businesses of all sizes integrate social media into the DNA of their business, connect with target audiences to nurture authentic customer relationships. 15+ years experience working with Fortune 500, Franchised corporations with 4000+ local franchises to entrepreneurs and startups.


  1. ideabloke February 17, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    Hi Pam, just wanted to put in my 2 cents worth here.

    It’s similar to #49: “We used to be on Facebook, but then a couple people wrote some bad reviews about us on there so we don’t do Facebook anymore.”

    Most newbies tend to see social media as a broadcasting platform instead of a tool to interact & engage their clients with (I know I did in the beginning!). Anyway, hope your weekend rocks!

    • PamMktgNut February 17, 2012 at 5:58 pm

      @ideabloke Good one! And to think just because we’re not on Facebook the same things won’t be said.. ha! Thanks for the input. What url do you want linked if we include it?

      • ideabloke February 19, 2012 at 11:25 am

        @PamMktgNut @ideabloke Hi Pam, please use http://Facebook.com/FanbaseSolutions Thanks loads!

        • PamMktgNut February 25, 2012 at 1:22 pm

           @ideabloke Will do, thanks. We’ll be starting the video soon with a couple clients of ours. I could also have you record yourself saying it and then we can incorporate it! Let’s touch base offline. I think you know how to find me… everything except my Mother’s maiden name you probably have by now 😉 Have a wonderful weekend!

  2. Samuel_Clemons February 17, 2012 at 6:36 pm

    all i do is engage. i tweet whatever comes to mind. people retweet it. i don’t know why, they just do. i try to explain that i am a narcissisitic, self centered hollywood type ferret, out to rule the universe, and be pampered, and they still retweet me. i try to explain that i pilfer shiny stuff, and left footed socks, and that doesn’t seem to bother them. i explain that i have issues, and see a therapist, they even retweet that. if there is anyone who engages, it’s me. i tweeted the word poop yesterday, just to see if someone would retweet it, you guessed it, Pam. yep. it’s a sad, sad world. even poop will be retweeted. i did tweet once at 4am, 6 months ago, that didn’t get retweeted, but maybe twitter was in fail whale, and i didn’t know it.

    i guess my point is this: if you are you, and have achieved the online ferretona than people will be comfortable with it, and they don’t really care what it is you have to say, they will engage back, they will love you, yes LOVE you, and they will be sad when you aren’t there. pet humans are funny. they need their ferrets.

    well, i have to go. the twin masseuses are calling, i gave them a secret coded ring tone, so i know it’s them. i better get ready.

    Sir Samuel Zeus Clemons Tweets at @Samuel_Clemons

    • PamMktgNut February 17, 2012 at 7:00 pm

      @[email protected]_Clemons You are a crack up. I think much of what you say is truth. I’ve never tried to tweet poop but doesn’t surprise me if people shared it 😉 I think bottom line people want to be led, inspired and make new friends. Twitter is such a great place to do such. Thanks for the laugh!

  3. teamoyeniyi February 17, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    I really wish social media didn’t exist. I mean it. I prefer interacting with flesh and blood. On the other hand, it is faster that snail mail and cheaper than TV ads. So I guess we are stuck with it.

    I found out the other day my Google+ folloowers (or some of them) do actually read me but just rarely comment. Who’d have guessed?

    Most of your 58 things are business related and I’m just a writer building the “platform” I read we all need these days! I don’t hink I said any of them specifically, but probably some closely related in intent!

    • PamMktgNut February 25, 2012 at 1:21 pm

       @teamoyeniyi What is it that you don’t like about social media? Is it the tools? Or do you find it hard to figure out how to use to get results? Don’t give up. It can be very powerful if you align with your business goals where it can have an impact. Thanks for stopping by and taking time to comment. 

  4. Tempo Creative February 17, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    Love this! I’ve heard “I twitted” and “I twittered”! I think people weren’t sure what to call it at first. ~Ginger

  5. SteveCassady February 18, 2012 at 1:01 am

    This is the first Pinit button I’ve seen on a website. It will be interesting to see five years from now what we think about social media today. I still remember having to use control codes to bold a word in email. I also find it interesting how some folks who are seasoned on some platforms still have “newbie” views on platforms they don’t use too much.

    • PamMktgNut February 25, 2012 at 1:19 pm

       @SteveCassady Hi Steve! Ha, are you talking about using ctrl/c and ctrl/v or manual codes? I still use the shortcut keys but can remember having to hard code as well. Yup, we’re all still newbies at something! Hope you have a great weekend buddy! 

  6. luhkamaeni February 18, 2012 at 6:26 am

    I am now trying to do to facebook to get more traffic

  7. TheAngryGents February 23, 2012 at 8:21 am

    This is a great list Pam, hope you haven’t heard any newbies say these! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HGdc00V9M0

    • PamMktgNut February 25, 2012 at 1:19 pm

       @TheAngryGents Love that video. Thanks for sharing! I’ll share it w/my community early next week. 

  8. MZazeela February 24, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    Ignorance is bliss! The world is full of ostriches; the human ones.

  9. Pam Moore @PamMktgNut March 1, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    I say call it whatever makes sense to you! @JoshROINut, my partner called it a TWIT forever (and still does sometimes 😉 )

  10. Pam Moore @PamMktgNut March 1, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    Synergy Speaks ha! for sure

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